Same Shit...

...different day.

I revisited the Apocalypse last night.
I rode on a train and watched the city freeze over. The streets peaked towards the sky - San Franciscolike. Cars were stuck on their upward climb and people were emerging from open doors to try and drag their bodies up the hill. It reminded me of the scene from Titanic where the floors are unnaturally vertical.
I watched as a woman tried to hold her daughters hand, but the grip slipped. The small girl fell and fell.
The train passed a Chevy Bronco. It's driver was slumped, dead, in his seat - glassy eyes staring straight at me.

I'm not positive what large change in my life is prompting a new wave of Apocalypse nightmares.
This time I'm confused.

My Boys

I've been working on a series of poems inspired by the Apollo program.
Today I spent several hours (okay, five) reading through & listening to transcripts of the Apollo 11 mission. Almost every word they uttered was recorded for the world to hear.

I've selected my favorite moments. They show the astronauts quirkier/witty sides. They were such serious men you really have to hunt for these quotes - then savor them.
Enjoy!

(Neil Armstrong, Mike Collins, and Buzz Aldrin)

Armstrong: I think today is also the birthday of California, and I believe they are 200 years old, and we send them a happy birthday. And I think it's Dr. Mueller's birthday also, and don't think he's that old.

Collins: Hope none of those meteors come by right now. God, look at that Moon!
Collins: Fantastic. Look back there behind us, sure looks like a gigantic crater; look at the mountains going around it. My gosh, they're monsters.
Collins: That's a horrible window. It's too bad we have to shoot through this one, but - Oh, boy, you could spend a lifetime just geologizing that one crater alone, you know that?
Collins : That's not how I'd like to spend my lifetime, but - picture that. Beautiful!
Aldrin: Yes, there's a big mother over here, too.
Collins : Come on now, Buzz, don't refer to them as big mothers. Give them some scientific name.

After Neil and Buzz boarded the Eagle to make their way to the moon -
Collins: You cats take it easy on the lunar surface. If I hear you huffing and puffing, I'm going to start bitching at you.

Aboard the Eagle before they began their descent -
Aldrin: Trade you that for a piece of gum. There it is.
Aldrin : What do you mean by bringing - bringing CSM trash in here?
Armstrong: Well, that's stuff I had left over in my pocket.

Back together on the Columbia, changing clothes-
Armstrong: You ready for your underwear? Mike - you ready for your underwear? You ready for your underwear?
Collins: Just a minute; yes.

Regarding a roll of tape -
Collins: Let's invent a new home for it because that old home is full of that smelly old urine bag. Collins: Okay, we need a new home for the tape. Anybody got any good suggestions?

Prior to Earth splashdown. Jim Lovell is making fun of all the moondust. Mice were waiting to test the toxicity of the dust -
Lovell: Please don't sneeze.
Collins: Yeah, keep the mice healthy.

Something to think about -

Studies show that a baby smiles 400 times a day. And children up to preschool age laugh about 300 times a day. As adults, we laugh just an average of 15 times a day, if it's an especially good day.

- Karen Salmansohn

Creepy giggling baby. The jerk's got 399 left in his day...

Invasion

She dreamed of him, the first time in three months. The unsettling realization that she'd forgotten the way shoulders curved upward on the words "life's been fine" or the way he breathed just a little bit slower than other people.
She woke, hand searching the emptiness next to her.
She didn't get to say bye, see you soon?
So she got morningready.
When she got to her car it had been broken into. Loose change stolen, radio and notebook of poetry untouched.

More than one person had invaded her personal space that night, uninvited.

Lyrics ofthe Day - for me

Let me go I'm only letting you down
I 've got nothing to say to you now
I lose the feelings that are weighing me down
When I'm safe

It's turning morning all the birds sing
I'm not complicating anything
I'll have another then I'll go to bed
But I'll dream of you

Cause it's almost over
And it's almost gone

And I can feel the sweet illusion, coming
Sweet confusion, honey
Sweet illusion coming down
And I ain't got nothing but love for you now

You and I used to shine like a jewel
But times been nothing to us but cruel
So play it out and never played the fool
Cause you'll lose every time

We were nothing, we were only the past
Hard times like that don't last
I've been forgiven, I've been surpassed
By my heart
Have you?

Cause it's almost over
Yeah it's almost gone

And I can feel the Sweet Illusion coming
Sweet Confusion, honey
Sweet Illusion coming down
And I ain't got nothing but love for you

Love for you I can't use
And lonely nights multiplied by the blues
That I can't resolve

You never knew me but I did my best
I'm just lonely inside I guess
You gave me everything you really tried
Thanks....

If we were nothing and we're only the past
Then I'm just living in a dream I guess
A long black dream that takes me down the river to you

Where it's almost over
And we're almost gone

And I can feel the Sweet Illusion coming
Sweet Confusion, honey
Sweet Illusion coming down

And I ain't got nothing but love for you now

Sweet Illusions
- Ryan Adams -

(Ryan)

Wet

When I write you a love letter it's like I soaked a sponge in emotions and threw it at your face. I watch the liquid drip down. A drop clings to your chin before releasing itself and falling to the ground. I try to saturate you with my love.

Your love letter is on its way - better get a towel.

My boys

My anxiety has been going into overdrive this past week so once a day I try to find one thing to make me happy.

Today I looked up quotes & transcripts of old Beatles interviews.

They are such cheeky buggers - it never gets old.

(love X4)

Press: How does it feel to be putting on the whole world?
Ringo: We enjoy it.
Paul: We aren't really putting you on.
George: Just a bit of it.
John: How does it feel to be put on?

Press: How do you feel about a nightclub called Arthur, named after your hair style?
George: I was proud--until I saw the nightclub.

Press: Does all the adulation from teenage girls affect you?
John: When I feel my head start to swell, I look at Ringo and know perfectly well we're not superman.

Press: Do you like topless bathing suits?
Ringo: We've been wearing them for years.


Press: Paul, you look like my son.
Paul: You don't look a bit like my mother.

Interview in Washington DC - 1964

Question: Here I am, surrounded by the Beatles, and I don't feel a thing. Fellas, how does it feel to be in the United States?
John: It's great.
Question: What do you like best about our country?
John: You!
Question: I'll take that under advisement. Do you have any plans to meet the Johnson girls?
John: No. We heard they didn't like our concerts.
Question: Are they coming to your performance tonight?
Paul: If they do, we'd really like to meet them.
Question: You and the snow came to Washington today. Which do you think will have the greater impact?
John: The snow will probably last longer.
Question: One final question. Have you ever heard of Walter Cronkite?
Paul: Nope.
John: NBC News, is he? Yeah, we know him.
Question: Thanks, fellas. By the way, it's CBS News.
George: I know, but I didn't want to say it as we're now on ABC.
Question: This is NBC, believe it or not.
John: And you're Walter?
Question: No, I'm Ed.
John: What's going on around here?
Question: What do you think of your reception in America so far?
John: It's been great.
Question: What struck you the most?
John: You!
Ringo: We already did that joke when we first came in.
George: Well, we're doing it again, squire!
Question: Why do you think you're so popular?
John: It must be the weather.