It's Like Meeting the Man of Your Dreams

As I sat on the hilltop overlooking the ocean, gulls soaring above & waves sparkling below, I noticed something even more breathtaking in my line of sight: A gorgeous (and shirtless) young man, frolicking in the surf with his dog.
Wistfully looking up at the clouds I daydreamed....
Me(after seductively climbing down the cliff to the sand below): Oh! Hello I didn't see you there. May I pet your playfully charming dog?
McHottie: Why, of course. His name is Scout.
Me: My cat is named Scout!
Us: (Proceed to twirl on the sand and possibly hardcore make out)

My daydream was suddenly broken when the guy started yelling up at me and I realized the dog had scrambled up the hillside and was galloping in my direction. The dog slammed its wet body into me. I looked down at McSexy and he yells "Hey, can you hold her while I grab the leash?"
Pssh...can I hold her...faw...mahoo..hehe...
I start to pet her sopping sandy hair and then flip her tag around. The word Scout jumps out at me and my heart freezes.
I look up to see McShirtless jogging towards me in the flesh. He thanks me while laughing something about a training gone awry and I blurt out "I named my cat Scout!"
He laughs and then.he.says. "Besides To Kill a Mockingbird I've never met another Scout."
I jizzed in my pants. Somehow I managed to say "That's why I chose the name -"
He chuckles "Oh yeah? Me too!"
He thanks me again right as I hear footsteps approaching. I turn to see a young blonde woman walking towards us, with a baby strapped to her stomach.

It's not called ironic Alanis. It's called fucking sucks.

Oh and PS - i'm totally psychic. minus the whole twirling/makingout part...