Sometimes..

..I miss people when I'm with them.

..I'm homesick while I'm home.

I tend to ruin the moments I'm in the middle of, because I can't tear my thoughts away from what will be. I'm weighed down by the what ifs and how things might be soon be shifted.

Reality can't come into focus because I'm seeing possible-tomorrows too clearly.

This is an infuriating way to live. I'm constantly frustrated with myself and wishing I could be different. But then, this goes along with previous actions, right? If I ignored this buzzing wasps nest of thoughts I incessantly have in my head, then I would be living falsely. This is how I am.
But I piss myself off. And other people in the process.
I'm sorry.