Nature Lovin'

Today I needed to see snow.

So I did:

(I took this picture)

Also, this photograph of an owl is damn near perfection, don't you think? BBC.com was having a bird photography competition which initially had me muttering "laaame" but then I stared at this for a solid three minutes.
I had to rethink my opinion on bird photography.

(I wish I took this picture)

Brilliant.

Months Ago

A breeze snatches at smoke that waterfalls from his nostrils.
She contemplates the burning tip of the cigarette - that dangerous thing whose beginning is already long gone.



Everything compressed, rolled into each other, has less than a minute left.

Poem ofthe Week

The Sudden Appearance of a Monster at a Window
By Lawrence Raab

Yes, his face really is so terrible
you cannot turn away. And only
that thin sheet of glass between you,
clouding with his breath.
Behind him: the dark scribbles of trees
in the orchard, where you walked alone
just an hour ago, after the storm had passed,
watching the water drip from the gnarled branches,
stepping carefully over the sodden fruit.
At any moment he could put his fist
right through that window. And on your side:
you could grab hold of this
letter opener, or even now try
very slowly to slide the revolver
out of the drawer of the desk in front of you.
But none of this will happen. And not because
you feel sorry for him, or detect
in his scarred face some helplessness
that shows in your own as compassion.
You will never know what he wanted,
what he might have done, since
this thing, of its own accord, turns away.
And because yours is a life in which
such a monster cannot figure for long,
you compose yourself, and return
to your letter about the storm, how it bent
the apple trees so low they dragged
on the ground, ruining the harvest.

Do You Ever

have those moments where you think "Geeez - I SUCK"


Yeah, me too.

I Worry

like it's going out of style there's only one left hanging on the sale rack and if I don't grab it I will have nothing to wear.

I worry about people like a turtle carries its shell.
Like cherries hug their pits Like bananas sleep in a peel
Like gravel gets stuck in tiny groove-mazes carpeting tires
Like jeans post-pushed in a pool become twenty pounds more & with every bend of a knee feels like your body is slowly turning to cement.

I worry about the people I care for more
than forest fires turn trees into chewed tobacco.
More than Marilyn Monroe wanted true love More than Joe DiMaggio tried to love her
More than indoor lighting gives moths window-bruised foreheads
More than a cat hates to be on a leash.

I worry about the people I love
As I'm falling asleep As I'm brushing my teeth As I'm making a right hand turn into my neighborhood & my blinker is ticking off every minute I haven't told this person or that person how much they mean to me & how I wouldn't be able to breathe if I lost them

As I'm walking from the kitchen into the front yard, a cup of lukewarm coffee in one hand, key to the mailbox in the other, wondering if maybe today I'll have a letter waiting from you, or wondering if tomorrow you'll wake up & realize you no longer want to know the sound of my laugh.

I've tried to get comfortable in this t-shirt of emotional discomfort, sleeves too tight on my shoulders, but I'm worried that if I DO get comfortable I'll forget how lucky I am to have people I love to the point of worrying
like it's going out of style.

Going Postal

I stood in line at the crowded holiday post office. I had three manila envelopes in my arms, all stuffed with application material: letters, transcripts, portfolio, etc.

The woman in front of me had four boxes wedged against her body - a bright red sweater bunched awkwardly around her waist exposing two inches of flesh. I couldn't stop staring.
She must have felt this because suddenly she turned around, caught sight of my envelopes, asked, "You mailing Christmas stuff too?"
I shook my head, explained I was trying to meet application deadlines.
She craned her neck in order to read one of the school names. "Oh," she said with a scoff, "you do not want to go there."
Obviously I do if I'm currently holding an application in my hand. But instead I just asked, why.
"The weather is miserable, you'd hate it."

I.would.hate.it.
I would?
Have we met?

This prompted the woman behind me to pipe in, "My nephew goes there and loves it!"
These women started discussing the school and I found myself no longer included in the conversation.

I've had countless people ask me where I'm applying then promptly inform me where I should or should not attend. They always have "solid evidence" to back up their statements - ie:
Their governor is an idiot.
OR
I went there for vacation and they have the worst food imaginable.
OR
Good luck finding a decent husband.

Complete strangers informing me what I will like.
These two women, strangers, felt the need to look at me and explain what is best for me.

I feel sorry for whoever is on the receiving end of their gift boxes and Christmas cards. I can only imagine what's written inside - "You are just going to love this!"

True.

I'm losing you and its effortless.


- The Fray
Over My Head (Cable Car)