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No matter the work we put into ourselves

personal growth
classes
workshops
inner enlightenment
trial n error
textbooks
workbooks
spiritual books
guide books

we are who we are. Maturity is an upward spiral where we continually return to the same patterns - although with hopefully larger space between.
De-ja-vue occurs just as often in relationships as it does walking down a supposedly unfamiliar street.

But that doesn't mean you should stop trying....

Quote ofthe Day

Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!

Harry: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.

Navin R. Johnson: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.


- The Jerk -

Apocalypse (again)

They have started again - my recurring dreams of the apocalypse.
Last time I was having them (reference July 2009 ) I had a big change coming in my life, so it's no surprise they've started again.

A few weeks ago I watched a charred and smoking truck fall out of the sky, directly in front of my house. It's black metal skeleton sat fuming amidst a destroyed neighborhood background. I sat with my face against a window and counted people as they stumbled - burnt and crispy - from the car. I counted five of them, all leaving trails of smoke behind them as they staggered away.

Last night I stood crying in the middle of an abandoned freeway. The ground was covered in ash and it came to my knees. I was shouting at someone that my suitcase was empty, I was crying.
There was nobody to hear me.

The end of my world is coming....but I've been through this before.

July?

Wow, this month is almost over and I haven't blogged once.

So that's why I wrote this.

PS -

There are still those moments in my life where I feel like one of the unpopular kids in High School. I find myself lifting my shoulders just a little higher and shrinking back just a little further into the shadows- what the hell is up with this? WHY is this still happening?
I'm generally confident, have always been stubborn in who I am, and proud of not giving into peer pressures, yet there I stand - hunched like Boo Radley behind the doorway - wondering why none of the cool kids are talking to me.

Shit's weak man.