Monday, September 7, 2009

Small Moment of Truth

I heard a knock on the glass behind me: I was sitting in the periodical section of Borders, a ceiling to floor length window at my back.

I turned to see a tiny girl standing there. She wore a blue dress with white polka-dots and she stood about as tall as my cross-legged height.
Her expression was oddly serious as she waved at me. I returned the gesture and waited, positive she was about to reveal some introspective secret, or the name of my first child...
She intently stared back at me before leaning forward to speak, her words solid and muffled against the glass: "I want ice cream."

I then watched her turn to walk away. I felt gypped, like the time I opened a box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts on Christmas (ooh my favorite!) only to find a hat inside.
Where was my gem of wisdom tiny prophet? What's my destiny??

I'd come to Borders to research Graduate Schools, read about publication options, and contemplate life. I suddenly realized this miniature girl had looked at a complete stranger and announced her deepest and truest desire. No sugar-coating, no apologies; she knows what she wants and isn't afraid to let it be known.
If anything it reminded me to stop bullshitting myself and go after exactly what I want and what will make me feel fulfilled.

I should have looked up at the next person who wandered past me in the periodical section and shouted: "I want to be happy!"

1 comment:

Jessica said...

I love how the Macadamia Nut incident is such a formative event in your life. And mine for some reason, every time I eat them I think of your hat and heartbreak.